Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
