I could make wine with my vomit
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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