once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
