I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
