Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I will be naked everywhere
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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