You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
