i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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