At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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