i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
