This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
