After last night, I could never be a politician.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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