I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
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