Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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