saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
