Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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