my mouth tastes like poor choices
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
