If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I looked at my own cervix.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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