you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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