Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
