so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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