Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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