I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Randomize
