I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize