I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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