i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
