She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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