i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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