I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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