do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
