i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize