do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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