i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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