I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
