coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize