Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
