Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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