: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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