Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Randomize
