I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
