im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
