we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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