You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
