That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize
