He uses pillows to masturbate.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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