my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
