Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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