what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
