trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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