Im at strip club and am horny
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
