Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I wish I could teleport
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
