my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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