My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
