Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
