i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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