my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
