Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
