i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
