The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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