dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
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