ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
